Someone’s kindness can be scary, especially if you’re dating them. You might be asking how. Well, here’s my reason/personal experience: Mr. Smith (my boyfriend) is very nice. The way he treats me is with pure-hearted kindness, which I’m not use to due to past relationships. Often times I feel as if I’ve somehow fooled him into thinking that I’m this near-perfect person, and I don’t like it. I want to know that he sees me for who I am. I’m afraid that he’s only seeing this “mask” and that one day he’ll see the true me and realize that he doesn’t like me. But I know that I’m being myself and it’s just who he is. He’s accepting of who I am, and very sweet. He constantly tells me that I’m beautiful and funny. I find this all scary. When a guy isn’t as nice I assume it’s because he is seeing the real me and that since he stays, he must really accept the true me. I assume that he understands all of my flaws. But whenever I’m with Mr. Smith my flaw will be showing to the fullest and yet he still shows a large amount of attraction. It’s almost as if he’s too perfect.
I’ll let you know I have quite an appetite. Being 5′ 7″ and weighing 130 pounds I’m not the smallest of girls, but I’m not very big either. That being said, I have a huge place in my heart and stomach for food. When I’m interested in a guy I always warn them about the magnitude of my cravings. With that information they usually proceed to say something along the line of, “Don’t be embarrassed, I eat a lot too.” I take that as reassurance that they won’t judge me for my portion size(s). Foolish… I don’t know why I think that. I always order more than them and they always ask, “Are you going to be able to eat all of that?” and I’ll tell them a simple, “Yeah.” Then they doubt what I say, and brush it aside. At the end of the meal, it usually ends with them staring at me in disbelief. I return a look that says, “I told you I eat a lot.” and, “You were just out eaten by me.”
For almost two months now I’ve been consistently seeing a guy that accepts my appetite. Yes, he will often times still stare at me with that disbelieving look, but there’s something a little different in the way he does it. He always has a slight humor-filled smile and a certain kind of attraction in his eyes. The way he goes about it is very refreshing, and quite attractive in itself.