Ten Steps to Confidence 

Confidence… what a pain in the ass. Confidence works a lot like being fit. It takes a lot to reach your goal, and you have to practice to maintain it. I personally have shitty confidence. I’m writing this specific blog post to help myself and others find their confidence. Here is my step-by-step list on how to become a confident person. 

I will be exercising these tips, and will do my best to update this post or write a review on how it worked for me.  

  1. Happy Thoughts– Having a positive mindset is extremely important for anything, especially if you’re feeling down. Thinking positively can change your outlook on life in so many ways. When it comes to confidence rather than thinking, “Oh gosh, that person just looked at me. Is there food on my face?” and getting uncomfortable, have that person’s glance be something that boosts you into, “That person totally just checked me out,” or, “They must like my shirt.” Obviously don’t put yourself all high-and-mighty and get cocky, but put a nice spin on things.
  2. Be a Bad Bitch– I don’t care if you’re a girl, guy, or other, we all have a “bad bitch” side. Don’t let people bring you down. And if someone tries to make you feel bad about yourself, make sure they know their place. I don’t mean beat them up or anything. There are several ways you can “correct” someone who puts you down. You can talk to them, just let them know they’re being rude or tell them you don’t like the jokes. Next, you can distance yourself from them; whether that’s blocking them on social media, or just not talking to them any more, it’s OK to distance yourself from them. Thirdly, you can take the fun out of their “jokes”. This is probably the solution I would suggest the least because it can cause them to think it’s fine if they’re mean to you, but it’s always something you can test. If someone is being mean to you, you can simply just joke with them, and often times it will suck the fun right out of the situation. Whatever you do, resume back to step one and keep a positive mindset. Don’t take it to heart when someone’s mean to you, it’s probably because they’re having a hard time with something else and they don’t know how to deal with it. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good! Also, never be afraid to stand up for yourself or others. 
  3. Laugh at Yourself– It’s okay to laugh at yourself. Just because you make fun of the way you go cross eyed when you’re tired doesn’t make you a low confidence person. Just know that there’s a point where it’s no longer a joke, and that’s when you’re actually self conscious about it. 
  4. Acting– People who flaunt their confidence are often times treated with more respect and people are less likely to point out their “flaws”. Act confident, even if you aren’t, and more likely than not you’ll start to realize that it feels good and it’ll become second nature. But always be true to yourself and don’t pretend to be someone else. Have the best posture you possibly can, open up with your body language, and work what you have! You’re lookin’ hot as hell! 
  5. Be Kind to Others– Someone who is confident isn’t mean to others. When you have a bully, it’s usually because they’re self conscious, or they don’t know how to express their anger so they’re just mean to others. Plus when you go to the extent of complementing someone, you probably feel pretty good about making them feel good about themselves.
  6. Don’t Mind What Others Think– People can be hurtful. Well, screw them! Who gives a shit if they think you’re “full of yourself”. It doesn’t matter if they think your nose is crooked, or your eyes are looking different ways; you get your foxy, lopsided butt out there and throw your confidence in their jealous face!! 
  7. Confident, Not Cocky– Now I know what I just wrote in the last step about being full of yourself but… there is a fine line between being confident and then just being cocky. Understand that you are equal to everyone, not better. Being cocky is a poisonous mindset. Yes, you’re hot! No, you can’t just do what you want. 
  8. Your Personality is Attractive– I have met many pretty people in my short life, but if that person has a shit personality then they instantly become “ugly” to me. I know that they’re still very physically attractive, but I just can get past their personality and overall they become unattractive. Just know that you don’t have to be this absolutely gorgeous person to be attractive. People will like your looks, but fall in love with your personality. 
  9. It’s OK!– It’s okay to have off days. Everyone does. Just curl up and watch a movie or read. What always makes me feel better is going for a walk, being in nature. Just don’t spiral down into an abyss of negativity. 
  10. Be True to You– Confidence is a huge thing to accomplish, and you can get lost. Just be comfortable with who you are accept your quarks. You have been placed together in a unique order that nobody else can attain. The one thing that everyone has in common is that we are all imperfect perfections. Learn to love yourself, and know that you’re a sexy beast! (;

I Hate Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is in two days which might be making you nervous. Well… don’t be. The only reason why I think Valentine’s Day sucks is because it’s based on couples. Don’t get me wrong, celebrating your love for your significant other is beautiful; but there are so many people that don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend, and that can make it very depressing for them. Valentine’s Day should be based on love in general, whether it be celebrated with a friend, or family member. So go out there and make this Valentine’s Day great! Enjoy the love that you share with whoever you want! 

Happy day of love! 

7 Steps to Get Over a Breakup

As some may know, I recently broke up with my boyfriend of four years. Pain and healing is likely to come with it. So I’m going to write out my personal step-by-step way (a.k.a the stages) of getting over a breakup. Whether you’re the breaker or the breaky. Some steps and stages might not apply to everyone, which is fine; everyone works differently.

  1. Breakup: Already done?.. perfect!
  2. Morn: You are very likely to miss your ex and it is perfectly find to be sad or angry.
  3. Distractions: This is where you try to keep your schedule full. Whether it be doing extra at work or making plans with friends. Just anything that keeps you busy and away from being by yourself. This is one stage that commonly goes unnoticed, but is very important. Most will look at it as, “Well, now that I’m not hanging out with my ex I have all this time to catch up with my friends.” which could easily be true. The best way to find out if you’re distracting yourself is to take a day to just relax, no extra work, no booked plans with friends, no busyness to your schedule, just a day for you to do low functioning things and to be with your thoughts. If you can’t stand being alone (not from boredom, but from feeling empty or sad), and you must stay busy, then you’re distracting yourself. And that’s perfectly fine, but do not get stuck in this stage! 
  4. Change: You’ve already been through a big change of no longer having your sagnificant other with you, and now you might be looking around and thinking one of two things. Either, “I don’t need him/her! I just need to get rid of everything that reminds me of her/him.” or, “What the fuck have I been doing? Damn, I’m not happy with where I am.” And those thought are powerful. The second one is what lead me to quit my shit job and also start this blog. And I’m glad it did! This might also be the part where you start thinking about sex with someone else; it might be before this and it might be far after, but this is usually the part where sex comes in (personally, mine came before). And that’s fine! Don’t be worrying about your ex, or what he/she will think of you… they’re your ex for a reason. Have fun! But be safe, very safe. Do NOT jump right into another relationship. Lay down the ground rules that you only want friends with benefits and stick to that.
  5. Getting Healthy: (This is my favorite step. It’ll help with confidence, and happiness.) So you’ve been eating a little extra junk food since your breakup. That’s okay! If you can gain the extra squish, you can lose it as well. It just might take more time losing than gaining… but that doesn’t matter. You might be a little pissed that you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, so you’re going clean up your diet and hit the gym to make them wish they still had you. Even if that’s not what you want, you should do it anyway so you’re looking good for yourself. Plus you’ll start feeling pretty good too. 
  6. Socialize: Now I know I just wrote take time for you and to not distract yourself, but this is a new stage. This is the point where you enjoy your free time and can be OK by yourself. Now it’s time to hangout with your friends and socialize with people. 
  7. Being Content: The final step/stage. This is the part where you have your life back in order and you’re happy. You don’t regret your breakup, and you’re ready to fully move on. Yes, you might miss your ex, but more often than not it’s the memories that are missed. Through all of these steps/stages remember that they all take time, some longer than others, but you can and will get over them. Just stay strong and find your happy.